I haven't written on this blog in a very long time. I felt an overwhelming need to share this today though so I am following that need. I am ok with others going on this journey with me but these words are for me. To let it out and to process it. I remember everything … Continue reading Two Years
grief
Music
Todd loved music. All kinds of music. Classic rock, smooth jazz, Christian, pop, new age, old school alternative,classical, even some blue grass, country and metal. Tonight one of his favorite Christian artists, Crowder (formerly David Crowder Band), is coming to play in College Station and the event is being sponsored by our college ministry. I … Continue reading Music
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In sickness and in Health
Todd was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer in October of 2014. During the next 27 months I would live out our wedding vows in the most literal sense. With no training or preparation, I became a nurse to my once strong and very capable husband. I removed chemo infusion pumps from his chest and … Continue reading In sickness and in Health
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Grief and joy
If you have grief then there is no joy and if you have joy then there is no grief. Not true. It seems like one would preclude the other but that has not been my experience. And I'm so very thankful for that. There are times of incredible sadness, depression and heartbreak. But there are … Continue reading Grief and joy
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I or Me, not We
It's part habit, part identity. We.... I say "we" meaning Todd and I. It's been Todd and I for the past 27 years. "WE decided to...." -or- "WE need to...." -or- "WE should....." But I'm no longer part of a "we". Now it's just I or me. And that sucks. I tried to think of … Continue reading I or Me, not We
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6 Months
Today is August 2, 2017.... 6 months since my title changed from "wife" to "widow". Six LONG months. Six months without his smile, his laugh, his goofy sense of humor. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not constantly thinking of him. Missing him. It's hard. I've realized things I miss that I … Continue reading 6 Months
My Widow Life 