This picture was from our wedding day, August 27, 1994. Look at that hair, those puffy sleeves, the…. love. Do you know how in love with Todd I was? It is a love so deep it is hard to put into words. He was my life, my best friend, the person I wanted to share the highs and lows of life with. I miss him so deeply it is a physical pain. We did not have a perfect marriage but it was pretty darn good. It was beautifully ours.

I miss so many things about him: his smile, his goofy sense of humor, his adoration of his kids, passion for his faith, his kid like joy of Legos, his work ethic, how he brought me Diet Cokes or flowers or gifts just because, how he sent me text messages just to say he loved me, his very presence, the way he would shake his leg in bed at night, and so, so much more.

But most of all I miss his voice. It may sound strange but one of the things that attracted me to him in the first place was his deep voice. I loved talking with him on the phone and could listen to him talk for hours – which he had no problem doing. I loved to listen to that man sing or read scripture. His voice was unique and beautiful and sexy. I miss hearing him say, “I love you.” I miss his silly songs he would make up just to be goofy. I miss his voice.

I could listen to this over and over….

I’m thankful that he recorded some things for the kids and I so we have his voice to listen to. But I’m also frustrated he didn’t record more. No matter how many recordings he could have done, it would have never been enough. I miss his voice.